What a pisser. Never in my life did I think I’d miss the Cult of Thorn as much as I did when the lights came on as the credits rolled. Now I know usually I’m the purveyor of obscure, panned, or ridiculous cinema and I praise their creativity and ingenuity but this is not the case. I’m sure David Gordon Green had a vision for his series and Halloween Ends will resonate with someone, my girlfriend of all people said it’s her favourite in the series… granted she’s not into slashers, so I forgive her. But it’s not my thing, Halloween Ends feels to me more of a fan film than anything.

    First, I will commend the deserving aspects. The effects are good, practical if I’m not mistaken which is always a positive in my book, and with a budget of twenty-million you can afford the best.  And the environment, I don’t know if it was a marketing promotion similar to the William Castle gimmicks of the 50’s & 60’s, there was a Michael in the looming around to take pictures of. That should have been my first sign. The acting is done well for most, particularly that of Andi Matichak as Allyson and Rohan Camplbell as Corey whose codependent relationship is at the crux of this story. Jamie isn’t at her best, she turns on a fucking dime from rehabilitated coping grandma to paranoid ostracist. Anther positive is it takes a few risks, not just regurgitating the previous films. Spoiler alert, the opening scene is the accidental death of the worst kid in a horror flick since Bob from House by the Cemetery, and it’s shown in all its gory splendor.

    It’s 2019, one year after the rampage and Michael’s legend lives on. Corey, a last minute substitute babysitter (continuing with Green’s tradition of genderswapping rolls{not hating just an observation}) takes the gig to put money away for college and referenced- I’m sorry ‘pays  homage’- to the original by watching The Thing with this brat, this time the 80’s Carpenter version. Can you hear the moist slither of that giant eye winking? An they break the golden rule, ‘Never put a reference to a better movie in yours,’. Anyway the kid pulls a prank on Corey locking him in the creepiest room on the fourth story of the house. Corey kicks violently at the door trying to escape angrily cursing and tossing empty threats as the parents come home the door swings open smacking the kid in the face, knocking off the banister and all the way down to the first floor foyer in front of mom and dad. Corey is arrest, life ruined, freed because it was an accident and lives the next three years being a social pariah. And his story is actually touching, and personal. And Campbell plays the role with a somber rage accepting his fate, a believable performance of a doormat that has a gun point to its head readying to go off if it so much as scuffs a shoe.

    It’s the week of Halloween, oh yeah that’s right this takes course over several days instead of having it take place on one night of carnage. Also, did you Read Fight Club 2 & 3? Of course you didn’t, no one did. Stupid question. Sorry I asked. But Michael, much like Tyler Durden, is a psychic parasite that feeds on the evil of mankind, immortally living in a sewer drain like an off brand Pennywise, who is also guarded by the homeless that bring people to sustain his murder lust. But not Corey, he sees himself in Corey and lets him go. That’s right ladies and germs this is Halloween 13: Like Mike. As Corey kills and spoon-feeds victims to Michael, Laure (who has no knowledge of any of this) turns on the kid SHE introduced to her grand daughter, who encouraged Allyson to date. Because he has “his eyes,” she put the kibosh on their relationship, even threatening Corey the morning after he was kicked out of his house by his emotionally abusive mother.

    Corey, having been beaten and ridiculed and had his life stolen from him becomes a potiche to the Shape, even stealing the mask. This is where I felt that Halloween Ends was the strongest and weirdest. Helping Mike get his groove back gave Corey a sense of control in his life that he hadn’t had in years. Not to mention the exploration of the formation of a maniac. Is it internal or external influences that make a monster? Or perhaps this could have shown the two spheres of murderers; the natural born killer that is Michael Myers verses the made killer Corey. But that potential was wasted and this became Halloween meets Henry: the portrait of a serial killer. Very jarring, and if they wanted to make a prequel-sequel to Henry well I’d love to see Rohan take the mantle after Rooker. He can play sympathetic, brutal and cold all at once

    Corey actually racks up a greater kill count than Mikey this year, before killing himself in a last ditched effort to frame Lauri and turn Allyson against her. That last about two second because Michaels back for his mask. The climactic final battle, the “Maybe I have to die to end this,” is just not in the movie. It’s a two-minute stalking, three-minute fight that end with Laurie and Allyson draining him dry… threatening with a good time, eh? No, Laure slits his jugular and Allyson presumably open both his radial and ulnar arteries. The town has a procession proving his death and the throw his corpse into a car compacter, showing his body mangled and torn. Definitively dead, Laurie accepts his absence, moves on and Halloween Ends closes with a recreation of the original film, showing the empty rooms of the house this time in the light of day, with no place to hide and in the last frame the, torn-burnes- mangled visage of captain Kirk keeled over an empty on the coffee table, much like Shatner after TJ Hooker. I did not like this film; it’s a decent Henry knock off wrapped set in a bad Halloween. Thankfully it’s finally over